[Kamil]

Hello Christine, I appreciate your response.
It’s been a while and quite a bit has changed, unfortunately, for the worse.
It’s gotten so bad with him, that I decided to call the trainer again. Focus this time was to teach him how to behave near the building so that I could get him behind the building in peace and with control.

The trainer knows him; it’s the same one I worked with before. Sato is now almost nine months old, so I believe that it’s another developmental leap or fear period or something. He’s doubled down on bad behaviors and disobedience.
The Trainer immediately introduced him (and me) to the choke chain, so that I could finally communicate with him. Regular collars just work like a harness in his case; they’re useless.
He taught me how to use it and then handed over the leash so I could walk Sato under his watch.

Sato was perfect. I thought that I was going to cry; I couldn’t comprehend how that was even possible—that I could walk with him near the streets, on the crosswalks, surrounded by people, cars, bikes, kids, and everything. He practically shut down on the world during that session. We walked like that for an hour, and during this hour, he saw more of everything and passed more people than at any time before in his entire life. He quickly gained his confidence too; after 5 to 10 minutes, he was already confident, taking snacks, wagging his tail, and even doing his business in very busy spots.
Also, I had to use the choke chain to correct him maybe only a couple of times at best, and it was nothing more than a slight movement of my wrist that did the trick each time.

After the session, I truly believed that everything had changed, that all he needed was the right tool so I could connect with him better.
However, that was not the case.
On our first walk when we were both alone, and every other walk too, he had already reverted back to his obnoxious behaviors. No matter the choke chain, he was actually pressing against it by himself, “correcting” himself to no avail. Sure, he got a tiny bit better. When there are no distractions, he goes fairly nicely by my side, but even one random person makes him just snap. He would rather choke on that choke chain than resign from pulling toward whatever.

This was when I realized it was never about the choke chain. He was only behaving perfectly because of the trainer’s presence. He loves this trainer and acts like a completely different dog whenever we meet.

The problem lies with me. He doesn’t care about me, doesn’t respect me, and doesn’t see me as his leader. So, why would he ever listen to me?

I gave him too much love, too much of everything, and as a result, I became irrelevant in his eyes. Why would he listen when every time we return home, there are always snacks, chew toys, and all the love and play from both me and my girlfriend? He already has everything, so he doesn’t need to listen.

Now, everything has changed. My last hope is that taking everything — and I mean everything – outside, will help strengthen our bond. I’ve reduced my interactions with him at home by 95%.
The plan is to make him crave love and attention from now on, giving him all of that only when we are outside.

[Kamil]

Yes, I’m living a nightmare. Sometimes I prefer not to go with him at all rather than risk losing the patience. I need to be in an absolutely perfect headspace to go.
I’m glad you’ve reached this point with Enea; it’s comforting to know that someone has actually achieved this. I can imagine how much work and patience went into this.

“It takes time.” That’s my last hope, honestly. I just need to keep doing what I’m doing. However, I can’t shake the fear of making the problem worse each day just by living where I do.
So discouraging to work hard only to end the session with him being like “f you man, I’m going for that car/person/whatever”. Each time. Like I’m just nothing in his eyes.

I’m sorry for the sad tone, it’s just tough and only keeps on getting tougher.

[Kamil]

It seems like I can finally reply. I couldn’t write a single response in the past few days. The website wouldn’t allow it

[Kamil]

Hey Jenifer, I’m happy to be able to answer finally.

“Did you get a trainer that can work with you one on one?”

Yes, I did. We had six sessions, if I remember correctly, each lasting one hour. It stretched over almost a two-month period, between the third and fifth months of Sato’s life.

He was good with “tough dogs,” but I felt he didn’t address the issue properly. So I decided to learn as much as possible on my own, that’s how I got here. He suggested training Sato for few hours each day, for example, one hour in the morning and afternoon, plus another in the evening. After two months of this routine, it nearly ruined my relationship with Sato due to the frustration it caused. He believed that if Sato doesn’t go out for long enough, it will take him years to adjust to the world outside.

“What has been going better for you?”

Are you asking if I’m better off now or if I was during the time we trained with the trainer? Definitely now. My biggest fear is that I might be unknowingly causing greater harm to my dog by taking him to this area.

“What do you do in your training sessions? How about play, what do you do?”

15 minutes out there for a single session, basic obedience mixed with play. Lots of play. I don’t expect him to be perfect out there, but I’m still trying to exercise everything he knows. Sit, down, stay. If it’s calm enough, I also incorporate “sit-stay” and “down-stay. “Look at me”. “Go back”. Heavy focus on practicing recall and praising/rewarding him each time he listens. We’re exercising the understanding of commands, bridge words, and release. Also, I throw in some silly tricks he knows, because he likes to perform them. When it comes to playtime, I try to get him interested in tugging, but he doesn’t have a strong toy drive, so he’s not always engaged. He prefers to run around me with the toy rather than “fighting” for it.

When he’s not that interested, I use a ball, which he absolutely loves. However, I try to avoid using the ball too often because I want to engage in more active play to strengthen our bond. I think the ball has become an obsession for him, and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to use it as a safety tool. Using one obsession to distract from another doesn’t feel right. The ball has a stronger hold on him than anything else I can offer. I often use it to protect myself when unexpected dangers show up. It saves me every time we’re outside, it’s that strong of a motivator.

When something triggers him and he’s about to explode, I don’t just throw the ball at him. That would encourage bad behavior. Instead, I say “BALL.” This word grabs his attention, even in tough situations. I quickly move away from the danger while keeping the ball visible. Then, I ask him to sit or lie down and reward him for doing so. This way, he still has to earn the reward. I hope this is not a mistake…

“Is he getting enough activity? Are you at home most of the time or is he alone all day?”

It’s definitely not enough. He could run for hours, but I can’t provide that in this area. I never let him off the leash because I know what he’s capable of and how quickly he can bolt towards something, like a bike, for instance.

I’m trying to tire him out mentally with all the training and some nose work games indoors. He also has plenty of chew toys to keep him occupied. Since I’m working from home, I spend every day with him.

“What do you use to control him?”

A flat collar, and 2-meter-long leash. I tried longer ones but for some reason, he treats them like toys and immediately starts chewing on them and running around with the leash in his mouth. I’m too scared that he will bite through and run off.

“Is there anywhere you can go to get help or something else to do with him?”

“Do you have a vehicle to drive him somewhere and avoid the street?”

Sometimes, I take him in my car to a quiet place where I can train him a bit and then let him blow off steam by playing with a ball. I’m using a 10-meter-long leash for that.

I used to drive him somewhere every day, but every location is a big distance from us and he doesn’t calm down in the car very easily. So I had to get a carrier/transporter to the car. But he got too big for it and he’s not a fan. It’s a chore to make him get in there.

“What kind of job do you plan on giving him? Mal’s need a job, or most do.”

I can’t give him a job in the small apartment we live in right now. We’ll live in a much bigger one soon, and it will have a yard, but that’s at least a year away.

[Kamil]

Yes, it didn’t work. I tried multiple times.

[Kamil]

Unfortunately, there is no such service in my city. I live in Poland, where there are many different trainers, but what you’re describing sounds more like a dog boot camp. I wish there was something like that here.

[Kamil]

Yet another amazing response. I can’t thank you all enough.

Riggan, I may not have responded quickly, but whenever I receive a notification with such an informative message, I sprint home to read it. You guys provide so much knowledge, and I really appreciate it. That being said, I’ve read it immediately and already implemented some of your tips into my daily life.
I am now focusing much more on the proper timing of my corrections. I am trying harder to read the dog better and I am trying to prevent more issues, rather than dealing with the situation as it occurs. I am also training him to lay by my feet once I sit on the sofa. We just started, but he definitely listens. So, all of the things that you mentioned, and also, a house leash is on the way to help me further.

Again, thank you so much!

[Kamil]

Cameron, can I ask you something else? You’ve already been so helpful, and I appreciate it. The more I read from you, the more I need to hear your take on the matter of playing with and touching the dog in the house.

My trainer suggested that I should limit any kind of touching the dog in the house. This doesn’t mean ignoring the dog when he comes up to me, but rather not pursuing and constantly petting the dog all day. Not that I’m doing it all day, but I do pet him, and so is my fiance, he is just a puppy and I want him to feel good around us, especially because our walks/sessions can be very stressful for him sometimes (reactivity). This is supposed to help me with using my touch outdoors, so it would be more meaningful for him. He further said that if Sato knows that he’s getting so much petting from me anyway, my touch is not all that relevant when we’re out, so he doesn’t strive for it.
By touch, I mean that if he’s preoccupied with something else and not listening to me, a simple butt touch should get his attention back on me.
A similar philosophy applies to playing at home. I understand that I shouldn’t engage in play with him, so he’ll be more eager to play once we’re out. At home, he should play by himself. Do you agree with that?

[Kamil]

Your response is the reason I love being here. It’s only my second post, and once again I’m greeted with a perfect, informative response.

I’ve already read it, but since I’m not a native English speaker, I might need to read it a few times more to get the most out of it. Your method seems very strict, but fair at the same time. I’ll need to go through it a couple more times to ensure I understand it well.
Sounds promising though!
Thank you. Every time I receive such a response, I feel motivated to try out new methods 😃

[Kamil]

Thank you for the kind words, Bill!